Deadbeat Club

Okay, kids. Today's post is going to essentially be one big Inside Joke, so if you didn't hang out with me from the years 2004 to 2008, you might just want to move on. On the other hand, if you are one of these people, you might've been able to tell that even in my young, tender years I knew one of my self-proclaimed missions in life would be that of Memory Keeper. This isn't a difficult mission to fulfill, since I'm very bad at throwing away anything of sentiment, and there's little I enjoy more than a good romp through the past to figure out what's changed and what probably never will. Today I did some rifling through old things and found a big ol' box of stuff from my 8th grade obsesso-archiving years.

I'm lucky enough to have remained in contact with many of my friends from this time. If you guys are listening, I hope you take as much delight in these gems as I did upon finding them.

1) Once upon a time we all memorized: FIDEM MEAM OBLIGO VEXILIO CIVITIUM...

2) CC: We gave you a makeover on the 6th of July in 2004. I had zero recollection of this before I read it on this paper.

3) The last episode of Friends aired in 2004. Did anyone else get kind of emotional about this?

4) "MY NAME'S _______ TOOOOOOOOOO!!" -Noel, to every single princess at the Lilac Parade.

5) BL and I planned a trip across Washington state. It involved going to Semiahmoo, which is a town neither of could actually pronounce but both of us loved to pretend to. I am still waiting to take this trip. As I recall we rationed gas like bosses and even had a yellow car.

6) This doesn't really involve anyone else, but whenever September approached, I started having the worst back-to-school nightmares. Some of the pre-8th grade ones involved: my best friend stealing my crush; my least favorite teacher giving me a citation; my second least favorite teacher discovering me in the girl's bathroom as I attempted to conceal my naked self with a towel and writing me a citation; my principal turning into a turtle, etc.

7) CG used to have this super great way of saying "Wow!" that would make us all laugh and immediately tell him to do it again. Still makes me smile.

8) One day at lunch I wrote a song about chocolate milk and sang it every time I had chocolate milk thereafter for about a year. It went like this:
  Chocolate milk is good
  Chocolate milk is great
  I'd eat it hot, I'd eat it cold,
  I'd eat it off a plate.
  Strawberry milk is good.
  But chocolate milk is better.
  It's good for you and tastes great too,
  That's why I wear a sweater!

9) It used to be, when you'd go on a vacation, every single one of your friends would email you telling you how much they were going to miss you, then they'd email you again for at least the first two days you were gone. Then you'd print out these emails just cause they made you feel so full of self worth.

10) Emma Butterworth's ism: "Hot-NESS!"

11) This is what I predicted you'd all be "when you grew up":
     -CC: Professor or Architect
     -CG: Teacher or Professional Athelete
     -EB: Broadway Actress or Music Teacher
     -BL: Fashion Designer or Scientist
     -OH: Oceanographer, Lawyer, or Doctor
     -TW: Teacher or Homemaker/Mom
     -Myself: Writer or Dentist

12) Remember polls?

13) Remember when we all took that Data Match quiz that linked us up with people who were supposed to be compatible with? That was weird.

14) Other great quotes. (From -- you guessed it -- the quote book):

     "Girls are not like pop machines. You can't just keep going back for refills." -CC

     "Are you my keeper?!" -BL

     "I bet they went to Mc****ing Donalds!!" -TW

     "I have so much pep, I don't know what to do with it! So I put it into my knitting." -EB

     "Look! Look! If you do this (she sucks on a Mountain Dew bottle) it does nothing!" -BL

     "I HAVE MASSIVE SPOTS ON MY NOSE!" -B, E, R, & T quoting Emma Watson

     "GASP! Can I put your markers in rainbow order?!" -EB, to a Science classmate

     "Okay, so I have these...these proverbial children -- they're like the kids I'm going to have, but they live in my head -- and every time I'm gonna do something I just think about it and I say 'What would the kids think?' It's like What Would Jesus Do, but it's What Would the Kids Think." -TW

     "I never really learned to be anything -- it just kind of happened, I guess. I'm kinda like an infomercial with extra goodies." -CC

     "He's a yellow-bellied chicken. More like a yellow-bellied blowfish. He's just yella' Yella like a banana. Like a... banana loco man!!!" -EB

     "I just realized I called you a nerd, and I'm listening to polka music." -BL

     "I have lion boobs!!" -RB

Miss you guys. Think about you always.

A New Moon

I'm so scared about the future, and I want to talk to you...

The Moon is in protective Cancer all day. This morning's Venus-Pluto quincunx points to a time of adjustments and re-assessments in our close personal relationships and/or with regards to our social lives. Issues of power and control can arise. Unreasonable or irrational fears of loss, or jealousy, could also emerge. Mercury's square to Saturn doesn't help to soften the rough edges either. Instead, it can stimulate differences in opinion, challenges understanding one another, and stubbornly clinging to our ideas and opinions. Communications may be blocked or delayed, and negative thinking could dominate at this time. This evening, Venus sextiles Uranus and we are attracted to unusual or out of the ordinary experiences. A semi-square between Mercury and Venus can stimulate our desire to communicate, but we can be quite sensitive to what's said, or not said.

Yep.

Month's Project: Maintain old friendships, secure new ones; apologize for fractured ones, nurture beloved ones. -RB

In other news, a colleague shared this with clip from Carousel with me today. I was blown away. I've gotta rent Carousel.

In other other news, here's what I'm listening to:

and

And finally what's inspiring me this week:

No idea what's going on here, but Jessica Chastain is 100% lovely.

 goodnight moon.

Little Miss Hannah Harris

Happy birthday my love!!
While I can't be with you in person, I certainly am in memory...

"I'm glad we both felt the need to clarify we liked The Smiths before 500 Days of Summer."

"She says I'm not romantic. I say she's too dramatic."

"I don't want aaaanybody else! When I think *about* you I TRUST MYSELF!"

Jammies? Spoon?

"PHILIP is having SEX at NOON on a WEDNESDAY."

"She get to know you...

...She going to own you!"

"Daddy and miss the show?! But Daddy, I was gonna sing in the show!"

"Letting the days go by..."

"I'm Haha."                          "That's makes me Rara! And Katie's....        Kaka?!"        "No."

You know, the only thing that could make this better is some PATRON on ice!

Jo-jos. Chiptole. Dumpster-rescued bread. Sketch vegan cupcakes. SHAKA!!

ANYWAY YOU WANT IT THAT'S THE WAY YOU NEED IT

"Sheeeeennuhis...pnkrckr, Shnnnnuhis...a pnkrockr, Shnnnnuhis...a pnkrockr NOOOOOWW!"

"My heart goin' boom, boom, boom..."

"If you wanna know if he loves you so it's in his KI-uhSSS."

         Love.                                                       Love.                                             Love.  I want your love.

"Thish ish my teleshcope!"

"I feel stronger with you close by."

You da bomb, Hannah Harris.

HAPPY 22ND!!!!!!

(I MISS YOU!)

Today's Thoughts

It's been quite breezy here in London as of late. It's also been manically cold, which I should've expected, but was brainwashed into believing was another month or so off by the intense Indian Summer heat that greeted me on arrival.

Anyway, today I was walking to the library and watching this girl try to light her cigarette as she walked against the wind. I had a great ironical laugh to myself, imagining her inner monologue:


"Gawddammit, light -- LIGHT for God sake! One...two...ugh, stupid wind! Ahhh. Ahhhhhhh. Come on, almost there! DAMMIT, WHY DOES THE EARTH HATE ME? WHY CAN'T I JUST TAKE ANOTHER BLOODY STEP TOWARD CANCER ALREADY!?"

I sort of wanted to point out that the elements were only doing her a favor, but somehow I figured she wouldn't delight in my perspective.

Speaking of cigarettes, if I can't think of any better Halloween costume, I might just have to go as Johnny Cash:

I think I've got his old kind of bug-eyed look going, but I had to hide my girlish lips more Joaquin style...


On another page (ah hahaha, you'll get that joke in two seconds), I entered my room upon return from dinner today, having left in the midst of starting another essay, and realized an infestation has begun here...

It started off shrewdly, but then I found them creeping along my countertops...

and lurking amidst my writings...

one of them had even staked ownership of my bed:

THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!

THEY'RE ALIIIIIIIIVE!!!

ATTACK OF THE IMPORTANT LITERATURES!!!

Seriously, though -- I'm reading like mad right now, and trying to find SOMETHING (ANYTHING) that hasn't already been covered in Shakespeare criticism for my next essay.

Wish me luck!

Some Silliness

No matter how ridiculous they looked, due to the influences of the 1970s, these two will always be at the top of my list for favorite thing to watch ever. Honesty, resilience, trust...



WHY ARE THEY SO ADORABLE?!!

And in case you need more evidence (0:00-1:58ish):



Also, something INSANE happened to me tonight. I started getting back into all my rockabilly blues -- you know, Elvis and Cash and all that sort of thing, with some Beach Boys to mix it up a little -- and then I got to thinking about Catcher in the Rye and the essays I'd been reading about Holden Caulfield and his ability even as a character on a page to stir up rebellion. Then I got some kind of surge of testosterone and started leaping off everything in my room and throwing stuff off my bed and having a whoop-ass grand old time being something like a 12 year old again. Acting like an ape-child. And dancing. Dancing my dreams right into the air. It was really something marvelous after a frustrating day. I think I'll take ape-child over pout girl any day. New solution to life's problems right here.

Finally, I'll try to stop posting YouTube videos and weird anecdotes and get on with more enlightening, worldly information soon.

Po-eh-three.

After quite a few years of deliberation and denial, I have decided it's time to actually take some steps toward my goal of becoming a writer and making some of my poetry public. I've been having dreams with shadow figures encouraging me toward more confidence, more openness. So here we go. If you read it, please tell me what you think!

Thanks all,
-RB

1. Yes, And
Your weekend was great
Yes, and I thought about seeing a film.
Yes, and I would have taken a yoga class, but my teeth hurt that day.
Yes, and you told me something else about that -- about your teeth.
Yes, and you smiled.
    Oh.
Yes.
    Oh.
...And you took the last Kleenex!
Yes, and I”m sorry.
We both are.
Yes, and we both are.
Yes, and you once told me you belonged to everybody.
Yes, and you were fine with that.
Yes, and you believed it.
Yes.
...And here’s my foot atop your shoe.
Yes, and it’s come to rest ever so slightly against my heart.
Yes, and that’s where it should be,     no?


Yes.
Yes, and.


Yes, and.

2. Ceasefire

-->

This bloody abandonment

on a battleground of veins:

water through a twisted pipe,

cigar smoke from a candle flame.

Espresso jolts expressed in steam

on open earth that bleeds black mud.

Filthy grounds, crimson-soaked filters,

kerosene across a tongue:

the taste of someone else’s dream

An oil puddle oozing grease.

A button come undone.

3. Separately, Together
Let’s be lonely together,
You and I,
And in that lonesome pairing draw
double toward:
As separate curtains on a rod’s two sides
Once pulled
Form a solitary veil.
We need no more than our respective breaths
Velcroed in the air, 
Zipped twixt fate's fingertips,
Drawn tandem as magnets.
Parted from the rest, but
evermore the center of an idiom;
let’s be turtledoves.

As Described

"Rachel, you have such an active mind -- or an active spirit, maybe. You're always doing something or thinking something or feeling something. There's never a dull moment -- always an adventure. Except when you're tired! Then you just want to go to sleep wherever, whenever."

BOUYANT. loveable. Spontaneous. Sensible.